Have you ever done ONE mistake in your life then suddenly it became your stigma? Your badge of dishonor, that every time you fucking walk down the streets it seems like your naked with shame written all over your body? Well I do. I fucking messed up once big time and that mistake have never been erased to my system. I got over it for only days but people, gosh, particularly my family keeps on reminding me that I fucking messed up and they keep on repeating to me all over, every fucking day of my miserable life. I wanted to tear my ears so I couldn’t hear them anymore. Scoop my eyes so I can’t see them anymore. What they are doing is just overkill man! It’s bad enough that I failed and doing this to me is just mean. I’m trying to straighten up but how could I if they wouldn’t even give me a shot? They are my family, how come it’s so hard to get some support? Can’t they just drop it and move on? If they keep on digging the past how can I even convince myself that I’m a changed person? It was a mistake and I am sorry for what I have done. I can’t do anything about it now so please just drop it. Stop making me feel guilty every time because my coping mechanism is just deteriorating I might, one day get close to death. Hey, maybe that’s what they want! If I die, maybe their lives would be better, they won’t be thinking about me anymore. No more burden! Yes, I think it’s time to take matters on my own hands. I just might lighten up their crosses if I’m gone. What do you think?
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